If I ever find Waldo, I hope he gets hit by lightning…Part 2
seriously… I just want to quit my job…[with obligatory GIFs]
This is the second part of the series. The first part is quite epic. Give ‘er a read! (Secret Travel hack: Click the underliny part)
Oh. Em. Gee.
Bossman why are you always gone when I need to quit! At this point I’m just about ready to grab a stack of post its and put it on his desk…
FIND ME, BOSSMAN, WE NEED TO TALK.
So I get to work in the morning and low and behold my boss is here, but now he’s frantically looking around the office to see if anyone has a long sleeved collared shirt to wear. Apparently some big wig is coming into the office for a meeting. So out of the goodness of my heart I let him be, so he can focus on his meeting.
Aren’t I such a nice guy…. who am I kidding. I’m just procrastinating the inevitable, plus I’m not awake yet. After my cup of coffee. ^_^
My coworker who knows I’m leaving notices that I’m in no hurry to let him know and half jokingly says:
“Strike him with the lightning to wake him up so he doesn’t steal our coffee! Strike him with the lighting!!”
I think people cope with departures differently. Though attributing it to lightning is new for me. Ohhhhhh because its unexpected and can strike at any moment. A bit like the Sword of Damocles, I suppose.
Anyways he came over in some poor soul’s shirt and tie and in his childish ways stole some of our coffee and off he goes to his meeting. Bouncing down the hallway like a someone’s hyperactive pet bunny. The meeting is supposedly only a half day, so I guess the lightning strike will come to wake him up after the “itis” of lunchtime noms…
(insert ominous music here ←seriously… play it. )
I’m hopeful now. A good discussion is to be had. So I walk by his office just before lunch, mug in hand. door is open. lights are on..could it be?!?! Nope… zilch. nada. zero. nien. negativo. deja vu… empty desk.
I drag my feet back to my desk…. mumbling to my coworker, “no lightning strikes….”
All this waiting is making my heart beat faster and faster, I’m getting nervous. My engineering brain can not compute all these feels!!! I feel like Indy in Raiders of the Lost Ark…I have nothing to lose and all to gain…
Its’s after lunch now. This time with the Cheez-its in hand, at the ready to sling into the kitchen trashbin. A cheezy amulet for successful departure of sorts.
“Okay, Jonathan, You can do this!! Si se puede!!”
Door is open. Check.
Light is on. Check.
Step into the doorway… and he’s meeting with another coworker… gahhh!!!!
Okay, okay, just chill, don’t draw any attention to yourself…nonchalantly walk yourself over to the admin girl’s desk and grab a piece of candy…
Some time passes. Actually, it was eternity. At this point, the nerves are really starting to get to me. All the what ifs are blowing a million miles per hour. I can’t stand this! Why won’t you let me quit universe!!! I feel as if my boss has this sixth sense, Haley Joel Osment/Bruce Willlis ability. It’s like he senses me coming down the hallway… Then with his crazy ninja ways and snaps his fingers, throws down a smoke bomb and disappears before the sound of my footsteps can even reach his ears…
every. single. time.
Alright its balls to the wall. get in or…write him a post it when I get there time. I’m pumped. determined. This time is the time. Water mug don’t fail me now. I get out of my cubicle and look down the hallway to the longest 6 steps of my life. I’ve never wanted to simultaneously NOT want to go somewhere and want to GO somewhere so intensely…
Oh good the door is open and the light is on. I fill up my mug. Take a shot of liquid….cour…water. (It’s just water, don’t drink at work thats bad, kids). I got my power walk going to his office. I stop just before the door to make sure I don’t hear voices. Nope. No voices. I take a deep breathe…