Mommy…a’int nothing but a thang

Mommy…a’int nothing but a thang

don’t worry their isn’t anything between London and Mongolia that can hurt me


Before we start…if your name doesn’t start with an M…

you can stop skip ahead till you see my face....

If you name doesn’t end in -om, -ommy, -a, -ama, -other, -ost favorite person in the whole world, you can skip ahead.

Skip to my face.

No really…. If you aren’t umma skipppppppp.

seriously… SKIP to my happy face


Ok, mom. here’s some assurance for you. I, your son, will arrive in Mongolia safely riding the great Yakmobile.

To start off, our car, mommy, is awesome. It is a Volkswagen Polo Mk3, the third generation of the Volkswagen Polo supermini car. It’s SUPER just like you, mommy! It was prooduced from 1994 until late 1999 and some models in 2000. So its actually quite modern. It made it through the Y2K bug! No viruses detected.

The car comes with a whopping 1043cc putting out 45 PS (33 kW; 44 hp). I mean, you don’t need more than 4 horse to pull 4 lads, right? Ok! Ok! maybe 8 so we can let one horse rest while the other trots along and doesn’t have to carry the hippo of a team we have… Soooo I don’t know what the extra 36 horses will be doing, maybe just chilling in the back sipping on some sweet tea. That’s what I plan on doing, while my driver, Josiah drives me to my destination.

86,500 genuine miles. This remarkable little car took the previous owner to Ulaan Bataar with no issues where they were the youngest team to complete. Meaning that they couldn’t afford to have breakdowns, cuz they’ve only been driving for a year or so. Then back again across Russia and Europe. All without fault or breakdown.

Fitted roof rack, sump guard, additional lights. Was fully serviced, cam belt change, brakes fettled, new cat exhaust section, new strut mounts and struts/springs. I have no idea what these things are either, mom, but they sound like they needed to be replaced,

New back suspension with new bump stops. Now. this mommy… this I’m sure even you can appreciate. Our bums are in need of much comfort on any road trip and as such should be treated with as much care as the Queen’s bottom.

its an adventure as safe as this pillow, mother

Also has new battery fitted. It won’t need a jump!

4 alloys with good tires or tYres as the British lads say. Pretty much equilvalent to adamantium. Wolverine would be lucky to have these as claws.

Starts instantly and runs sweetly and drives straight. STRAIGHT, mommy, S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T. Not to the left or to the right. No known mechanical issues. It even drives straight when I’m driving! It could prolly drive itself.

Doesn’t it look comfy, mommy?

Also look at all the awards the car won!

1999 Used Car Buyer Greatest Used Car Buy Awards — Best Economy Car

1998 Top Gear Magazine Top Cars — Best Supermini

1997 Which? Magazine Best Buys — Best Supermini1997 Auto ExpressNew Car Honours — Best Supermini

1997 Complete Car of the Year Awards — Best Supermini

1996 Semperit Irish Car of the Year

1995 What Car? — Car of the Year

See, mom! There is no recklessness… only calculated risk. Your son is in safe hands, but prayers are always good even when your son isn’t driving across Europe and Asia in the most reliable car 600 pounds could buy!

Don’t worry we will keep in touch, mom. Did you know that there is free wifi in most McDonalds across the Europe? So I will skype with you then. :D

Here are approximate dates we will be in each country so you can come and get me….

If you feel the need for a sweaty dirt-smudging hug and kiss from your beloved son.

Start Line 7/19/2015

France 7/19/2015
Germany 7/20/2015
Czech Republic 7/20/2015
Germany 7/21/2015
Austria 7/22/2015
Slovenia 7/22/2015
Croatia 7/23/2015

 

Bosnia and Herzegonvina 7/25/2015
Montenegro 7/25/2015
Albania 7/26/2015
Kosovo 7/26/2015

Plitvice Lakes National Park, Croatia by Jack Brauer

Macedonia 7/27/2015
Serbia 7/27/2015
Romania 7/27/2015
Bulgaria 7/28/2015
Turkey 7/29/2015
Georgia 7/30/2015
Armenia 7/31/2015
Georgia 8/1/2015

Azerbaijan 8/2/2015
Turkmenistan 8/3/2015
Uzbekistan 8/4/2015
Taijikistan 8/8/2015

 

 

Kazakstan 8/11/2015
Russia 8/14/2015
Mongolia 8/22/2015

 

 

 

Finish Line 8/31/2015

We are really flying through each country, mama, so no hooligans can even catch up on our 44 horses even if they tried.

Okay…

Now everyone else that isn’t my mom, because I know you didn’t stop reading. We will be as safe as a rocks on a sunny day in Hawaii. Ill end here cuz I know you just read the stuff I intended for my umma.

your loving son,

Jonathan

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